Finding Your Sunset

Photo taken in La Jolla, CA. 2020.

At the risk of sounding corny... Happiness is like the horizon. The common misconception that happiness is the absence of challenge or struggle creates an ever present draw toward the evasive edge. And with each step you take toward that horizon, you never actually reach it. In fact, some spend their whole lives running, climbing, clawing, and doing anything to reach that elusive place.

They run so fast that they miss the true point. Happiness is not the horizon, but rather the sunset. The people who find true happiness are the ones who stop running, sit, and watch that horizon and find peace just watching the beauty of the pastel sky. Happiness is finding content in the face of challenges.

I think we can all agree that the past year has had no shortage of challenges.

When I was younger my dad used to tell me that in life there was always going to be things that you don’t want to do. Whether it be chores, homework, or quarantining, life was full of inconveniences. But, he would say, there are always two approaches to those inconveniences: 1) You can choose to wallow in the annoyance, frustration, or other negative emotions, or 2) you can choose to put a smile on your face and try to find some value or enjoyment in them.

I have spent my whole life trying to choose the latter and cultivate happiness no matter how arid the soil. Granted, this has not always been easy. Especially in the face of a pandemic. However, reflecting on the past year, here are some ways I chose happiness:

1. Make time for loved ones.

Photo taken in Rancho Santa Fe, CA. June 2020. From left to right: my brother, my mom, me, my dad.

I am incredibly close with my family, and spending time building and enjoying those relationships brings me immense joy. Family movie nights, dinners, or even just going for a walk are the times I look forward to when I’m in LA at school. Beyond finding happiness in the moments I spend with them, I find daily comfort in knowing that I have such a strong support system and people who love me unconditionally.

2. Prioritize yourself.

Screenshot from my notes updated March 2021.

In my previous post, I wrote about self-care and what that looks like for me. As a refresher, self-care is time allotted to spend time with yourself to do something that makes you happy. Prioritizing this me-time and using it to do something that I like to do has changed my life immensely since before quarantine last year.

This is just one example of how you can prioritize yourself.

For me, I keep a note in my phone of some of the small things that I can do that bring me happiness. Prioritizing doing maybe a couple of these things a day helps me find balance in the high-pressure environment that is the pre-med at UCLA.

Now let's talk about revenge bedtime procrastination.

When an individual has very little time to themself throughout the day, they may forego a few hours of sleep to use that time for leisure.

I found myself doing this with frequency throughout high school before I even knew it had a name. While the free time was nice, I certainly needed the sleep more. In retrospect, however, what I really needed was time management.

If I had prioritized myself more throughout the day, I would not have struggled so much with the revenge bedtime procrastination, and probably would have felt much better having gotten more hours of sleep.

Which brings me to my next point...

3. SLEEP!

Photo of Jude. Taken in Encinitas, CA. April 2020.

Don't be fooled, this one seems a lot easier than it actually is. By getting the proper amount of sleep a night, you are setting yourself up for success and happiness during the day. While this may seem like an obvious truth, many struggle to put it into practice. I was certainly one of those people.

As I mentioned in the previous section, revenge bedtime procrastination is very real and so is poor time management. I used to think that there simply wasn't enough time in the day to do all of the things I needed to do. I realize now the flaws in that logic.

However, since I have begun prioritizing my sleep and getting my full 8-9 hours per night, I have found that I perform better academically, I am a better communicator, and I am certainly much happier. Most people who have made the choice to start sleeping will say the same.

4. Don't delay happiness.

Photo taken in Encinitas, CA. February 2020. Me and Sterling.

This is another topic I touched on in my previous post; however, I believe that it is so important I thought I would take this opportunity to delve into more detail.

Choosing happiness everyday is a challenge in and of itself. Sometimes it can be so challenging, that it is easier to push it off to another day. For example, I am currently considering the possibility of switching majors. I am not finding as much fulfillment in my current major as I thought I would, and I now find myself faced with a big decision. One that will probably bring me happiness, yes. But also one that is going to be difficult to make. And therefore, I have been delaying it until the "right time". I recognize the flaws in this logic, and realize that I need to make the choice that will bring me happiness.

This goes to show that in many ways I am still learning how to choose happiness.

5. Find purpose in the things you spend time on.

Photo taken in Solana Beach, CA. Left to right: me, my dad, my brother.

As my dad always told me, in life we have to do things that we don't necessarily want to do. However, one way I have found happiness even in these less-than-ideal scenarios is to try and appreciate the purpose behind the things you are spending time on.

For example, it is easy to lose sight of the meaning behind doing homework as a result of the negative emotions associated. However, by changing this mindset to see homework as a means of learning material or studying for your exam, these negative emotions are put into perspective.

6. Spend time outside.

Photo taken in Encinitas, CA. 2018.

Last but certainly not least, I highly recommend spending time outside. Even if it's just a fifteen minute walk, you will notice a difference in your mood. Going for a walk around my neighborhood is one of the ways I find balance in my hectic day-to-day. Sometimes I will go for this walk on my own and call it my "self-care" or sometimes a friend will join me. Either way, fresh air and moving your body is a great way to clear your head and find some moments of peace.

And with that, may you always choose to put a smile on your face, never chase horizons, and enjoy your sunset.